The pros and cons of knocking
by MehLikey
Summary: Knocking, once non-existent when it came to Tanaka, was now his favourite thing. He'd walked in on too many couples thanks to his no knocking rule, and he was sick of it. Tanaka was determined, pay back was inevitable. Contains every ship I could think of, plus a few more. Rating may rise later on.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I don't know. I honestly don't know. I have no idea where this came from. Anything goes shipwise. Just roll with it. I did...?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Haikyuu!**

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Tanaka used to hate knocking. He didn't need it, as he found that just barging through the door and making a scene was the way to go. Knocking just wasn't for a guy like him, who did everything his own way. But a couple of very... shall we say, special incidents changed Tanakas mind greatly.

The first time it had happened, Noya and him had been looking for Kiyoko and Yachi, who were not where they were meant to be; the gym. They had practice, and the two of them had left with some excuse or another, and they hadn't been back since. Since Yachi had promised to only be gone five minutes, and fifteen minutes had already passed, the two had decided that they were going to be the search party, and rescue the damsels in distress (not that they were in distress, nor were they damsels. They could take care of themselves just fine.).

They had run all over the school grounds looking for them, before finally, as a joke, Noya had pointed at a closet and said: "Wouldn't it be funny if they were in there?". Tanaka, having no better ideas himself, threw the closet door open to prove that there was no-one there. Much to his (and Noyas) surprise, someone was there. Two someones, in fact.

The scene inside immediately halted, Yachi going red, Kiyoko hiding her face in her hands.

Tanaka had stumbled, tripped, fell over Noyas foot, and taken a hard hit to his head. His goddess was...was...was taken.

In shock, Noya had helped him up then unceremoniously dropped him again. Tanaka had hit his head again.

After managing to get up on his own, Tanaka had nodded at the two girls with a "lovely weather today, isn't it?", and left, heading back to the gym, leaving Noya to somehow stutter his way through an explanation of how the two girls were needed in the gym.

The two had then shown up at the gym like nothing had ever happened, and practice had resumed as normal. Well, as normal as the libero failing to touch the ball even once, and Tanaka continuously failing to spike the ball over the net.

By the end of practice, Tanakas head was throbbing, a result of receiving the volleyball with his head, and jumping into the net once or twice. It simply just wasn't his day.

Ukai had asked if they were okay, and Noya had just about to blurt out what they'd seen when Tanaka gave him a sneaky jab in the ribs. Noya had given a small frown, barely noticeable.

Tanaka had told Ukai that there was nothing wrong and they were just feeling off their game today. Noya had nodded his agreement.

As they left the gym, Noya asked Tanaka why he'd done that.

"Kiyoko and Yachi were glaring at me." Tanaka had replied, in a rare moment of serious wisdom (yes, even he had them occasionally. Don't be so surprised.). "They obviously aren't ready to tell the rest of the team, whatever their reasons are, so I didn't want to be cruel and do it for them. They'll tell us when they're ready."

Noya smiled. "I get ya. Sure thing bro."

The second time was maybe a week after that. Tanaka had been the last one out of the gym, and he thought he'd be alone in the club room. Once again, he barged right in, and much to his shock, caught Noya and Asahi going at it.

That was probably even less expected than Kiyoko and Yachi. Noya had always been with Tanaka on the fact that Kiyoko was a goddess, and now, he wasn't quite sure what to believe.

So he bowed his head once more, commented on the weather and shut the door. He then, for the first time in his life, knocked on the door to the volleyball club room (Tanaka usually just liked to burst in like he tried to before, and yell at the top of his lungs to alert everyone to his amazing presence in the room.).

Asahi had opened the door, previously rumpled clothes straightened out once more, face as red as a tomato. Noya was down the back of the room, quietly getting changed out of his sweaty clothes, face tinged pink with embarrassment.

The time Tanaka spent in that room changing was one of the most awkward times he'd ever been a part of. And, yes, that was saying quite a lot. Tanaka had been in some very awkward situations before (it was a don't ask, don't tell thing). Asahi was a bumbling mess and Noya was silent (for once). Therefore, Tanaka had made it his personal mission to get out of there as fast as possible.

Standing at the door, he gave them both a "goodbye" and a small smile. He turned to leave, but was stopped by a "WAIT!" from Noya.

Tanaka turned back around, expression finally resembling one of his usual expressions. "Yeeesss?"

Noya blinked. "Could you please not tell anyone about this yet? We have a few things we need to sort out before we go public."

Tanaka shrugged. It seemed that Noya had actually put thought into this, so Tanaka supposed he'd keep silent just this once. "Sure. I'll keep quiet again bro."

Though there was no miserable failing in practice the next day, when Tanaka (once again) ripped off his shirt and spun it above his head in joy, there was the tiniest warning glare given to Noya and Asahi. They may be together, but Tanaka's abs were amazing (what an ego). They were also not to be stared at like that. Tanaka's abs were beauty, and they deserves to be shown, but not drooled over by another male.

Tanaka wasn't homophobic, no way, but he was straight. Always had been and always will be (or so he thought then).

The next time he walked in on a make out session, it wasn't really even something to walk in on, as it was outside and there was no doors involved.

It was just Hinata and Kageyama kissing passionately against the wall. They were so engrossed in their kissing, they didn't even notice that Tanaka was there.

The good thing about that one was that he didn't have to worry about keeping it a secret, because in the middle of practice, that very same day, Hinata leapt onto Kageyama and kissed him.

Though it was shocking, Tanaka had to admit he saw that one coming. There'd been unresolved sexual tension around those two for ages. It had only been a matter of time before they got together.

He even noticed that Suga received money from Daichi. A bet, most likely. A bet Suga had won.

The next time it had been early in the morning and Tanaka had gotten the spare key for the gym, and was gonna go practice when no-one else was there.

Much to his surprise, the door was already unlocked and the lights were already on. Undeterred by this, he opened the door, and immediately wished he hadn't.

Suga was giving Daichi a blow job, surrounded by abandoned volleyballs.

Lost for words, Tanaka had simply shouted "FUCK!".

Suga had stopped, and looked towards Tanaka, going red.

Daichi had sighed, turned Sugas head back around, and spoke some captain wisdom. "Come back in half an hour Tanaka. The gym will be free then. Leave us now."

As Tanaka had shut the door, unable to say a word, he heard Daichi telling Suga to continue what he had started. Suga, Tanaka guessed, had complied with Daichi's request, judging by the moaning he could hear emitting from the gym as he walked away as fast as he could without breaking into a run. The result was a very funny walk that would have earned him quite a few odd looks if there was anyone around to see him.

By this time, Tanaka had completely given up, and was considering knocking on doors before opening them (Horror! Shock! Gasp!). Watching him in practice, you'd think nothing was wrong with Tanaka unless you looked extra closely. All his spikes were hit harder than normal, though Ukai put that down to enthusiasm and an improvement in also stopped removing his shirt when he was excited, though if you watched closely, you'd see his hand twitch towards his shirt, before stopping all motion, and subtly sighing.

And just like that, two peaceful weeks passed in which Tanaka didn't come across any more make out sessions (apart from the ones Kageyama and Hinata gave to the whole team all the time, but that didn't count).

But, of course, peaceful times never last.

Tanaka had just started to think it was about time he accidentally walked in on Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, because there was no way they weren't together when practice got interupted.

This time it wasn't Tanaka doing the barging, but one very happy captain.

He'd just been jumping for a spike when the gym doors had been thrown open, and Kuroo had stalked in, crying "Tsukki~ I'm here~"

Tsukishima had groaned as Kuroo had caught sight of him and came bounding over. Before anyone could say anything, Kuroo had picked Tsukishima up (man, was he strong), spun him around, planted Tsukishima back on the ground, and given Tsukishima a big kiss.

While Tsukishima grumbled about it being embarrassing, and Kuroo waved a plastic bag around, claiming it had cake in it, the rest of the team all had varied shocked reactions.

Tanaka was so over it by this point, he just sat down and watched what happened. Suga received money from Daichi once again, Noya poked Asahi in the side and they shared a grin, Hinata and Kageyama did the obvious and Yachi sat down on Kiyoko in her surprise. Yamaguchi was texting to an unknown recipient once again. Ukai was complaining about all the distractions to Takeda.

Tanaka blinked. Now that he watched it all, he could see how they were all together. He was probably the only one here who knew that most of the team was in a relationship. He supposed, if anything, he had blackmail material.

He gave a small chuckle, though to Ennoshita, the one currently closest to him thought it sounded more like a deranged laugh of a mad man.

Tanaka gave another chuckle. Ennoshita shot him a look that went ignored.

Another chuckle burst from Tanakas mouth. It was followed by another, and then another, and before he knew it, he was rolling around the floor in hysterics.

Everyone stopped staring at Kuroo and Tsukishima, and started staring at Tanaka. Even Hinata and Kageyama stopped what they were doing to look at Tanaka.

"Couples!" he cried in between snorts of laughter, "Couples everywhere!"

Everyone blinked, confused, because it was only three couples (Hinata and Kageyama, Kuroo and Tsukishima, and them), though Noya thought it was only four (he was the exception). How were they meant to know that basically the whole team was dating, and Tanaka had walked in on basically all of them. Poor, poor Tanaka. All this knowledge, and nothing he can do with it.

Tanaka pointed at Yamaguchi, who was still texting, wiping away tears with one hand. "Next I'm going to walk in on you and your texting buddy going at it." He broke off into laughter. "And knowing my luck, it's going to be someone random like that setter from Nekoma."

Yamaguchi went red and started stuttering.

"Ohoho!" Kuroo pointed at Yamaguchi. "You're Kenma's texting buddy! He's always smiling and looking at his phone. We've been trying to get who he's texting out of him for ages!"

Yamaguchi went red, and stayed red.

Tanaka burst into laughter once more. "Of course! I'm the only one still single," Ennoshita gave a pointed cough, but it was ignored. "so I'm the unlucky one who has to walk in on everyone kissing!"

There was silence, and there was a collective confused blink.

Tanaka stopped laughing, and sat up. "Oh. But I did catch one blow job." Daichi and Suga went red, but no-one noticed, because Tanaka had fallen over again, still laughing his head off.

"I'M SINGLE!" he cried, "THE ONLY SINGLE ONE ON THE TEAM!" Ennoshita gave another pointed cough, but just like before, it was ignored. "AND THE ONLY STRAIGHT ONE, IT SEEMS!"

Now it was not only Yamaguchi who was red, but a couple of the more easily embarrassed people.

Tanaka's laughs broke up into hiccups, before he started to sob."I'm forever alone." He laughed again. "Knocking. Oh hell, why didn't I knock?" He rolled around on the floor some more, half crying, half laughing.

Kuroo leant into Tsukishima, and whispered: "I think he's having an internal crisis. From the sounds of things he's walked in on everyone kissing and more and it's really starting to get to him." Tsukishima gave a small snicker, but didn't say anything.

"Anyone wanna go comfort him?" Kuroo raised his hand and made a horizontal sweeping motion with it. "He looks like he needs a hug."

Ennoshita, being the closest, took it upon himself to bend down, wrap an arm around Tanaka, and lift him up again. He started to talk to Tanaka in a calming voice, hoping that something would get through to Tanaka. The half sob, half laughter faded into the distance as Ennoshita lead Tanaka away, an arm around his shoulders so he wouldn't fall over.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Suga asked Daichi. "I think he's been shaken up quite a bit."

Daichi smiled. "It's Tanaka. Don't worry. I bet you he'll be back tomorrow, determined to find someone to date."

"Oh," Suga raised an eyebrow, "a bet? Are you want to do this?"

Daichi gave a nod. "I'm sure this time."

Suga laughed, "We'll see. I think he will eventually decide to get, as he might call it, revenge after walking in on one more 'session'."

Daichi laughed. "If he walks in on one more session, I bet the poor kid will go crazy."

Suga shook his head. "Don't you go underestimating Tanaka now. He has more guts than a lot of people I know."

Daichi frowned.

Suga hurriedly added, "But you have the most guts out of anyone I know!"

Daichi smiled. "Awww, thank you Suga. You have the brightest smile I've ever seen."

And that bright smile lit up the room once more.

Meanwhile, Kuroo and Tsukishima had snuck off somewhere to do who knows what and Hinata, Kageyama, Noya and Asahi had started messing around with the volleyballs. Yamaguchi was texting again. No one was really practicing any more.

Ukai sighed, and turned to Takeda. "I'm just gonna stop practice here, I think. I don't think anyone will be able to practice properly after that."

Takeda nodded his agreement.

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**Next up: A practice game against Aoba Jousei takes an unexpected turn and Tanaka decides that knocking is his new best friend. Also: a new goal for Tanaka takes priority in his life.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Where the hell does this story come from? Even I don't know. I just let my fingers do the typing, and go with the flow.**

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Suga won the bet again. Tanaka came to practice the next day, acting like nothing had ever happened. He did well, and didn't do any spectacular fails, or have another breakdown (what else could you call what Tanaka had done?). Though, the latter might have been because Hinata and Kageyama didn't kiss, probably for Tanaka's sake. Daichi was proud he didn't have to tell those two to not kiss, as it meant his first years were starting to read the mood a lot better than they used to.

This carried on for the next two weeks. Tanaka didn't see any PDA, nor did he see any private affection, so Tanaka stayed completely sane. Suga grew more smug by the day, and Daichi grew more and more worried. Their next practice game was fast approaching, and it was with Aoba Jousei. With Oikawa introduced to the already complicated set up, something was sure to break, and Daichi worried for Tanakas sanity.

The day before the practice game, Tsukishima hadn't shown up to practice, and Yamaguchi had been the one to give the message that he had a favour to return and wouldn't be able to make it to practice today. Daichi and Suga had shared a knowing look, glad that Tsukishima was finally doing something for someone else.

But they had kept the news from the rest of the team, least Tanaka catch wind of it, and do something crazy. that was the only thing Daichi and Suga were certain on. Once Tanaka went over the edge, shit was going to go down, and it was not going to be pretty (they were right, actually, it wasn't pretty for them. But for Tanaka it was beautiful.). Hell, it was going to be something they would never, ever forget. Tanaka was going to be involved, so what else were they to expect. Daichi and Suga both knew that eventually Tanaka was going to so something, they just wished to prolong it as long as possible.

But practice had, once again, passed like normal (minus Tsukishima), and everyone, including Tanaka (he didn't walk in on anyone, thank the gods) heaved a huge sigh as they left the club room, heading for home (or where ever else they were going).

Come the next day, and they were taking the bus to Aoba Jousei, and this time Hinata managed to avoid vomiting on Tanaka. Instead, he vomited on Noya, who hadn't been there last time the team put too much pressure on Hinata (they were facing Oikawa, they had to be prepared for the worst), and had sat next to him, and maybe pressured him even more with whispered words of: "Be careful of Tanaka.".

By now, everyone had decided that Oikawa was going to do something, whether intentionally or not. Little did they know, Oikawa had gotten a phone call from Kuroo the previous day, and was actually not planning anything (his precious Iwa-chan would probably kill him, and he did not want to die just yet).

And so, the practice game went smoothly. In the end, the score was a tie, and as usual, Hinata was begging for another game, which didn't end up.

Everyone had dispersed, wandering the grounds of Aoba Jousei, or whatever they wanted to do before the bus was ready to return to Karasuno.

Tanaka had taken it upon himself to put the volleyballs away, as he was still a very paranoid little boy, so he gathered them all up, and went to the room wher ethey keep all the volleyballs (oh, what a brilliant name for a room). He pushed the door open with his back, as his hands were full with, suprise surprise, volleyballs. He turned around, and stopped. Literally. He just froze.

Oikawa looked up from what he was doing, and gave a tiny sigh. It really couldn't be helped. He'd been caught. He curled his fingers further into his oblivious Iwa-chans hair, and gave a moan. He always wanted to see what would happen if someone got tipped over the edge.

He smiled, gave a small wave with one hand, pointed at what Iwa-chan was doing, and gave a thumbs up.

Tanaka glared.

Oikawa gave a moan again, and then flicked his hand at Tanaka, wishing for him to leave.

Tanaka glared even harder, but slipped out of the room and left, the door quietly shutting behind him.

Iwazumi looked up at the sound of the door closing. "Was someone in here?"

Oikawa patted his head. "Nothing to worry about Iwa-chan~"

Iwazumi sighed, knowing that it was something to worry about, but there was nothing he could do about it. "If you say so."

Meanwhile, Tanaka had silently stalked back to the gym, and dumped all the volleyballs in his arms down.

Ukai had raised an eyebrow. "Get lost?"

"Something like that." Tanaka gave a snort of laughter. "Yeah. I got lost. That was all."

Ukai shrugged it off, not really fussed.

Takeda was a bit more fussed. "Don't you think Tanaka's acting a bit odd?" he whispered to Ukai, but he was just shrugged off.

Suga nudged Daichi, and smiled. He knew it was a smart idea to stay in the gym. "Today's the day. I win. Pay up."

Daichi grumbled, but handed over the money anyway. "He hasn't declared revenge yet though."

"Just watch," was the quiet reply.

Tanaka had finished dumping all the volleyballs on an unsuspecting turnip head, and was leaving the gym. He opened the door to the gym, and immediately shut it again.

"Fucking hell," he grumbled. He took a breath to steel any wavering resolve before opening the door once more. He stepped out, muttering under his breath all the while.

Suga giggled and Daichi shot him a horrified glare. "Who's out there and what are they doing?"

Suga giggled once more, and grabbed Daichi's hand, dragging him over to the door. He pushed it open, then sat on the front step, pulling Daichi with him.

"Watch."

Tanaka was halfway across the courtyard before he stopped.

Hinata and Kageyama, Kiyoko and Yachi, Noya and Asahi. Kuroo and Tsukishima. Even Yamaguchi and Kenma (though they were just playing video games while Kenma sat on Yamaguchi).

Suga smiled.

Daichi sighed. "Why?"

Suga merely grabbed Daichi's chin with one hand, turned his face towards him, and kissed him. Daichi automatically responded.

Tanaka turned around, hoping he could just sneak back into the gym and hide behind turnip head. What he did not expect to see was Suga and Daichi.

"Oh, fuck this shit." Tanaka grumbled. "I'll knock okay! If this is Gods way of telling me to knock before I enter, then I get it! I'LL KNOCK OKAY! SO STOP THIS PLEASE! GOD! I REALISE I SHOULD KNOCK SO CAN I PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE BE LEFT ALONE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE PEOPLE IN THEIR PRIVATE MOMENTS! I DON'T WANT TO SEE PEOPLE KISSING LIKE THAT! AND I MOST DEFINITELY HAVE NO WISH TO SEE BLOW JOBS! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

.

.

.

.

No-one stopped what they were doing.

Tanaka sighed. "Fine then. I'll do it your way."

He laughed, and Suga blinked. That was-

"Your way! I'll do it your way!"

He was back to normal. How was that possible? And what was their way.

Tanaka stalked off, giving one of his very familiar grins.

Let's just say the bus ride home was an awkward one. Especially since Kuroo and Kenma had somehow tagged along for the ride.

But the one person not feeling awkward at all was Tanaka. He was as happy as Hinata after he hits a spike. As happy as Noya being called sempai. More happy than when he was called sempai.

He had a plan, and he was going to see it through. He was going to beat them all at their own game. He was going to be the best at being interrupted. He was going to teach them what it was like to accidentally walk in on something that was meant to be private. He was gonna show them how awkward it is to be constantly seeing things that they don't want to see.

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Lying in bed at night, Tanaka lay awake, planning. He couldn't do it alone though. But who would be willing to help him? Either someone incredibly stupid or someone in the same boat as him. Also, someone single. Hell, it didn't even have to be a girl.

Tanaka was starting to doubt his sexuality, because right now, he was so glad he'd been holding all those volleyballs when he found Oikawa and Iwazumi. He'd definitely felt a boner coming. That's why he was glaring so hard at Oikawa, and left so quickly, but spent a while on the way back to the gym. He was not going to be caught. Well, actually. His plan involved him being caught, so he'd have to give up that train of thought.

Tanaka sighed. Maybe someone who plays volleyball would be best. They'd be easier to talk to, and bribe (he doubted anyone would agree to his plan (how little Tanaka knew) just like that) to get them to co-operate. He did have a lot of volleyball nuts on his contacts list. He was sure at least one of them would be willing to help. He had a very big contacts list on his phone. People just liked giving him their numbers, it seems.

Oikawa used him for fashion advice (why?). Iwazumi used him to complain about Oikawa (so basically, all day). Aone used him to talk about his dog (a very friendly labrador called Mushroom with a drooling problem and a tendency to sit on the dining table), oddly enough. Kenma asked him for help whenever he got stuck in a video game (Tanaka had yet to actually help him). Bokuto used him to, uh, well, Tanaka really wasn't sure. Bokuto just seemed to love talking in general. Tanaka was on Bokutos contacts list, so Bokuto must have taken that as a sign (it really wasn't) that Tanaka wants to talk. And talk. And talk. And just maybe, talk. That wasn't even half of it. Those were just the ones that texted him the most.

Tanaka always found it funny. He was never able to get girls phone numbers, but boys just gave them theirs without him even asking. Sometimes Tanaka wondered if someone had put them up to it (Suga sneezed).

But enough on the phone numbers. Tanaka had a partner in crime to recruit, and he knew the perfect place to start.

Picking up his phone, he scrolled through his massive list of contacts to the one he wanted. Pressing the call button, he held the phone to his ear, and hoped he didn't disturb anyone sleeping in his house.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice on the other end of the phone said, "Tanaka, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Why are you calling me at this hour? I was sleeping, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"Then why'd you call?"

"I was wondering if you could help me with-"

"Hell no. I don't know what you're planning, but I want no part in it."

"But-"

"No, Tanaka. I will not help, and I will not hear you out. I'm going back to sleep." And with that, Ennoshita hung up, and left Tanaka hanging.

He sighed. It would have been nice to have Ennoshita on his side, as he was also on Karasuno. But Tanaka had had a feeling from the start that Ennoshita wouldn't help. Oh well, you never knew until you tried.

Three hours later, Tanaka had called nearly everyone on his contacts who he thought could help, and all of them had almost immediately said no. Some had listened to what he'd had to say, then refused, but others had just outright refused before Tanaka could explain, just like Ennoshita.

He made a face, although no-one was there to see its beauty (ha ha). He had hope, but now he wasn't so sure. What if no-one would help him? It wasn't like he could just acquire a girlfriend. If it was that easy to get one, he'd already have one by now. For some reason, he always managed to scare the girl away before they could get to know each other.

He scrolled through his contacts list one more time, deciding that maybe it was time to call it a night, and try again tomorrow, when people were more awake, and willing to listen. He sat his phone and turned over, finally ready for sleep, but a sudden vibration from his phone stopped that.

A text. He turned back over, not seeing the harm in reading it.

He picked up his phone, quickly unlocking it, and opening the unread message.

'I wanna help.'

Tanaka blinked. Well. Wasn't that helpful. Obviously someone had been complaining that he was asking for help in the middle of the night and had told someone who decided he had to help a man in need. Tanaka was thankful for this small miracle. He could work with this. It could work very well. This was a good helper. A very good partner in crime.

'R u sure?'

'Yep! It sounds like fun! :) I get to finally get people back for all the pranks they've pulled on me!'

Tanaka shrugged. Well then. It was a prank, he guessed, and it was revenge for what had happened to him, whether intentionally or not (he had a sneaking suspicion the incident at Aoba Jousei was planned, but by who, he had no clue).

Tanaka had a partner in crime now. His plans could go ahead. He had no reason to worry, and a lot of reasons to laugh (but he didn't). It would work.

'Sweet! Thanks bro.'

'Np. So, what do I do?'

Tanaka smiled, and nearly laughed (but then he realised he really shouldn't, because it would probably wake someone up). Perfect.

'Well, for starters...'

They stayed up texting and planning late into the night, only stopping when they realised that they both had volleyball practice tomorrow, and they might need some sleep to still be able to play properly. A half awake zombie wandering around the courts, swiping at imaginary balls and getting hit on the head was not the way to remain inconspicuous.

Tanaka was ready to take action and so was his partner. Watch out, innocent volleyball players, because Tanaka's out to get you. That's not a good thing.

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**Next up: I reveal who Tanakas mystery partner is and Stage 1 takes place, though not quite as planned.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I write this when I'm meant to be asleep, so that's probably why the story is such an odd one. I accidentally deleted what I had originally wrote, so somehow this chapter took a very different turn to what should have happened... sorry? Originally, the plan actually worked, but because I don't really plan beforehand, but just write, I can't recreate what I wrote, as the characters really do seem to have their own minds...**

**Hey, guest, I can't reply to your review, so I'll just tell you here. You caught me. I've had this chapter finished for quite a while, I just haven't been able to upload it, I don't even know why.**

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Where: Karasuno's broom closet. When: practice on Monday afternoon. Who: the first people to find them. How: go missing. Why: because Kiyoko and Yachi were found in a closet by Tanaka.

Tanaka was a little apprehensive about this. There was no romantic attachment between the two of them, yet they had to do incredibly private things, and get caught doing it. His partner had assured him he was fine with it, and hey, wouldn't it funny if they accidentally fell in love thanks to this (oh, but it wasn't funny, not at all). Tanaka had laughed that off, still determined that he was going to get a girlfriend. His partner had laughed too. They were just too different. It just wasn't possible.

Come Monday, and a very frustrated Tanaka was tapping his foot against the curb, waiting for a bus that probably wouldn't come. His very smart partner had gotten the bus timetables wrong, and gotten on a bus heading in the opposite direction of Karasuno. Practice was starting in ten minutes, and his partner was still trying to find his way back to his starting point.

He frowned, and a little girl nearby dropped her icecream on the ground. He'd have to go ahead to practice. Oh well. They could just do it tomorrow instead. There wasn't that big of a rush to do it.

With nothing better to do, Tanaka headed back to the gym to get ready for practice.

After last weeks incident, both Noya and Asahi, and Kiyoko and Yachi had announced they were dating, and Tanaka had not walked in on anyone (he was glad for that, oh so glad. He was sick of seeing that. He was sick of seeing blow jobs. If he was gonna be seeing a blow job, he wanted to be a part of it.). Suga had not said anything to Daichi about what had happened at Aoba Jousei, though he did give Daichi a good nudge with his elbow when he saw Tanaka enter the gym that day. But, as Suga had been giving Daichi big nudges for the past week, it was ignored.

A three on three was called, with Hinata and Kageyama on opposite teams, to see how well they work when they don't have the other to rely on. Tanaka was put on Kageyama's team, and told to ask for as many spikes as possible. This, of course, lead to a new bout of shirt throwing, as Tanaka had quite missed it, and he couldn't be bothered not doing it anymore. His abs were to be shown (and stared at, he guessed), not hidden. He'd given up on that front. Also, when it came to his abs, his ego was as big as the world, although he would never say it out loud (no, instead he'd just use every chance he could get to show them off, hence why he liked the beach so much).

BANG! The gym door flew open, and there was a few muttered "not again"s throughout the interupted practice session. Much to everyone's surprise, including Tanakas, it was Bokuto.

"Kuroo didn't put you up to this, did he?" Tsukishima grumbled, while Yamaguchi snicked at his plight.

Bokuto frowned. "Why would I do that?" He looked around the gym, clearly on a search for something. "I'm just here to help out~" He gave an award winning grin to top it off.

"Help?" Tsukishima questioned.

"Yup!" another grin. "To help my darling Tanaka!" He leaped forwards into the gym, and dragged Tanaka out from where he'd been hiding behind his shirt. The shirt dropped to the ground, abandoned by its wearer. Clearly, if one was Tanaka and wanted to hide his face, one should first make sure one has a shirt on, so one is not automatically deemed Tanaka for stripping. Tanaka did not seem to realise that.

Bokuto drew him into a warm hug, and Tanaka couldn't help but return the favour (really, his arms were forced upwards, so why not just hug back?).

Suga blinked. "Oh fuck no."

Daichi had no words. If the usually mild mannered Suga was swearing, something was wrong.  
"He wouldn't..." but as Suga spoke those words, Bokuto's hand slid down Tanakas back. Down and down. Down until he reached Tanaka's shorts.

Tanaka, who was already shifting uncomfortably from the long hug and the hand down his backside, gave a huge yelp when Bokuto slid his hand into Tanaka's shorts, and squeezed. He jumped back, face already a tomato, stuttering like mad.

Tsukishima burst into laughter, back into tease the hopeless morons mode. Yamaguchi followed suit.

Bokuto cocked his head to the side. "Why'd you jump away? I couldn't get a good feel." It was a whine. A whine that Bokuto couldn't cop a good feel out of an unsuspecting Tanaka.

Tanaka, the adorable red blushing moron he was, couldn't get a word out.

Bokuto pouted. "Don't tell me you're embarrassed. What, are you still a virgin or something?" He gave a silly, nah, it can't possibly be true laugh.

Tanakas response was to deny it all. "I-I-I'm not a virgin! It just shocked me, that's all! Yeah, I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." It almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself into believing what he was saying.

Bokuto laughed, and gave Tanaka a mighty slap on the back. "Just kidding. I'm a virgin myself, so I wouldn't know much."

The entire gym went silent, save for Tsukishimas ongoing snorts of laughter. "They're just-" He resumed his laughter, twice as hard as before, when Bokuto grabbed Tanaka, pulled him close, and gave him a big kiss on the forehead. The poor thing fainted. Tsukishima had to sit down he was laughing so much.

Bokuto caught Tanaka before his head could hit the ground thankfully, and carefully arranged Tanaka so he was leaning against Bokuto, and wouldn't fall over.

Daichi strode forwards, having had enough. "Stop hassling Tanaka, Bokuto. Why are you really here?"

Bokuto blinked, and cocked his head, resembling an owl so much it wasn't even funny. "Do I have to have a reason apart from I came to help Tanaka out? All I wanted was to help him."

In his arms, Tanaka was coming to, and he clearly had no clue where he was, as he calmly replied, "Yeah, and it really would have helped if you had told me you were gonna come anyways, after that stupid mistake with the buses."

"Buses?" Daichi questioned, momentarily distracted from the distraction.

Tanaka snorted, oblivious to his predicament. "The idiot got on the bus going in the opposite direction to here. He spent twenty minutes just trying to work his way back to the bus station he was originally at. I don't know how he managed it, when I sent him very clear instructions on how to get here."

Bokuto pouted. "Those were the instructions? I thought that was what not to do, so I did the opposite of what was written, just how I thought you wanted me to."

Tanaka groaned, and tried to face palm. That's when he realised the situation he was in. He quickly pushed himself of Bokuto, and stood on his own.

Bokuto looked as if he might suddenly do a 180 with just his head, and go "hoo", but because he isn't an owl, he didn't.

"Wait a second," Daichi frowned. "Are you trying to tell me you asked Bokuto to come here?"

"No!" Tanaka said, at the same time Bokuto said "Yes!". Tanaka went red, which was unlike him, and Bokuto took the opportunity to slap him on the rear, which only served to make Tanaka even more red.

"Which is it?" Daichi frowned disapprovingly.

"Yes," Tanaka sighed, giving Bokuto a very... interesting look. "I wanted Bokuto to come. I just didn't realise he'd still be coming after the incident with the buses."

Bokuto pouted. "Of course I still came! I couldn't leave you hanging after you specifically asked me to come today!"

Daichi interrupted. "Do you mind? We're trying to practice."

Bokuto's eyes widened. "Oh! Right! I'm sorry!" He gave Tanaka a pat on the head (oh, height differences), and wandered over to the gym door. "I'll wait outside, shall I?"

Daichi smiled. "Yes."

Tanaka whimpered, and Suga gave a smile, while the rest of Karasuno shrugged it off.

As soon as Bokuto had left the room, Daichi turned to Tanaka, arms folded. "Practice will resume! Yamaguchi take over Tanaka's place, and Asahi take mine. You're coming with me Tanaka."

Someone whistled. "You're in trouble~" but when Daichi turned to glare, the game had already resumed.

Tanaka shrugged, and made his way over to the side, following Daichi. It couldn't be that bad, right? Tsukishima didn't get told off too badly when Kuroo crashed practice, so he didn't see why he'd have it any worse...

That was a mistake. It was worse. With Tsukishima, Daichi had kinda just grouched at the two of them, but such was not the case with Tanaka. Instead, Tanaka got the smile, radiating waves of anger.

He shrunk back, but that was a pitiful attempt at trying to escape the angry captains wrath. Once Daichi was angry, there was no escape. Absolutely none. Tanaka had watched from afar while Hinata tried to escape once, and that had not ended well. For either of them.

"Yesss?" he ventured, hoping Daichi wasn't going to rip him to shreds for opening his mouth.

"How come you didn't tell me you were gay?" Daichi looked grumpy, and maybe slightly upset (?). "Everyone else came to me beforehand, and let me know they were in a relationship, or wanted help getting into a relationship with someone."

"Uh," came Tanaka's intelligent reply. "Um."

Daichi sighed, and stared at the on-going practice game. "And here I thought you were actually straight."

Tanaka was straight.

"So Bokuto?" Daichi looked more curious than anything now.

"What?" Tanaka honestly had no clue what was going on.

"How long have you two been a thing?" Daichi asked, and was that an excited look on his face? "He seems pretty comfortable with you. Do you think we could get information on Fukurodani if you went to his practices?"

Tanaka thought he was going red, but as he couldn't see his own face, he had no idea.

"Uh." How was it appropriate to say since last Thursday? "A little while..."

"And how come I never heard about it?" Daichi demanded.

"Um, I'm shy?" Tanaka was running out of things to say. Soon he was gonna start bullshitting, and that was never good because Tanaka always managed to dig himself an inescapable hole in these kinda situations.

Daichi raised an eyebrow. "Well that's news to me."

"Is it?" Tanaka really needed this conversation to end and fast. It was not going well, and Tanaka was starting to get a bit worried, what with all Daichi's probing.

"Well," Daichi said. "I guess you have come out now, so I shouldn't be worrying. Us volleyballers all seem to end up gay."

Tanaka still knew that the irrelevant thing to say right now would be that he's straight, but oh, the temptation. Instead, he made do with an awkward chuckle and a "Yeah, I guess so.".

Daichi seemed pleased with the answer, and the fact that Kageyama's team had won the mini match. "Join up with everyone else."

Tanaka shrugged, and rejoined the group as Hinata began his usual routine of asking for another game, Kageyama sighing, and smiling ever so slightly. They were cute those two, Tanaka would admit that, though probably never aloud.

"Spiking drills now!" Coach yelled. "All into a line please."

Tanaka wandered over to join the line, ignoring the curious glances from a couple of his team mates. It wasn't worth it to try and explain, or come up with a suitable lie. He'd just play it cool.

* * *

**Next up: The plan works as originally planned, Tsukishima is not happy, Suga wins some money and Tanaka is confused. **


End file.
